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Approach

Conflicts with your partner

 

You want to be valuable and helpful for your partner and your children. You always make compromises. You will do this for a few years, until at some point you are no longer satisfied. This may manifest itself in an unpleasant relationship with food, alcohol, money, or an affair.

 

Many people then file for divorce. Or they stay together, and at that point they stop developing or expecting a better relationship. It is possible to live your life that way. But there is another way. And that is to go into a process, to look for what has been lost. What has been lost, within yourself and in your relationship? In many relationships there is a speechlessness reigning which doesn't seem to be conquerable.

 

For expats (people who don't work where they grew up) this dynamic is intensified because their lives are always turned upside down; proven supporting structures are no longer there, and a lot of time and energy is spent on getting used to new surroundings.

 

You want to be yourself again, without external constraints. You might want more sex, more passion in your relationship, or simply to be understood. I can help you with that. One of the most effective ways is to open up to your partner. If you are over 30 years old, chances are that you have not learned to talk about feelings and conflicts at home. At that time, authority and rules for living together were still essential, or rebellion against them.

 

You can practice opening up together with me, and if you want, with your partner, your child. You may be afraid of it because you think that then, everything will blow up. This is not completely wrong, because you bring the attention to what is important. There is a great opportunity for you to develop together. With more experience in your situation, you will be well equipped to face the colorful life again with confidence.

 

Conflicts with your child

 

In some situations you may feel that your child is slipping away from you. It may be that he does not listen to you in everyday life as you would like him to. It may also be that a bigger thing (education, drug use) is getting out of hand. In any case, it weighs too heavily on you alone, or on you and your partner alone.

 

Our children are separate beings who want to cooperate with us. You as a parent are responsible for the atmosphere in your home. Together with you I will have a look at how the mood is at home. Often I am a kind of translator for a child, because children express themselves differently than adults.

 

For TCKs (third culture kid: a child who does not grow up where his parents did) inner conflicts are normal. This requires special guidance and attention from the adults they trust. 

 

I can help you to meet your child with confidence again and to get your own strength as a father or mother back.

 

Counseling method

 

If everyone in a family is travelling worldwide, but not in the same boat, I offer a harbour for docking. I invite you, alone or with a partner and children, to take a seat on the shore and see how you are doing together in the family boat. Thoughts and feelings that would otherwise either vanish or explode, will find their place, make new sense, get in order and give you a boost. So we are together for a while to experience what it is like for you right now. In my experience this is a very productive way to become smarter and more satisfied. 

 

I have experience with what works and what doesn't work in relationships. I am a discreet psychologist. I am on the eye level with you - you are the expert for you and your family. I am very curious about your story. Make an appointment with me at !